Ask your husband what he wants and you'll hear one of three answers: "Nothing", "I don't know" or "Whatever you like". None of them helps.

The truth is that most husbands want something small, funny and useful that shows you've noticed him. Even better if it gently teases him about the things he does. Here are gifts for your husband, sorted by the things he says.

"Hmm? Did you say something?"

The man who can hear a cricket score from two rooms away but not a request to take out the rubbish.

• Selective Hearing Specialist crew socks. He'll laugh. He'll also pretend he didn't hear the joke.

"What did I do?"

He doesn't know. He never knows.

• What'd I Do? crew socks are the perfect gift after a small argument, or a big one.

"I'll do it this weekend"

He will not do it this weekend.

• Get Sh*t Done, Later crew socks for the husband with a to-do list from last year.

"I'm still cool, you know"

He has a playlist he thinks is very current.

• Coolest Guy crew socks to support the claim.
• Here Comes Cool Dad crew socks if you have kids and he's embraced being the fun parent.

"Let's go somewhere this weekend"

The one who wants to drive, trek or travel at the first sign of a long weekend.

• I'm An Adventure Man crew socks.
• A Classified zipper pouch for passports, tickets and the chargers he always forgets.

Small extras

• A Tastes Like Coffee toothbrush for the husband who isn't human until his first cup. (Toothbrushes are in short supply, so grab one while they're here.)
• A Probably a Genius pencil case for his desk, cables or tools.

How to choose

1. Listen to his catchphrase. The thing he says most is the best slogan to give him.
2. Make it two. One pair to tease him and one he'll wear to work.
3. Size check: our men's crew socks fit UK sizes 6 to 11.
4. Think about the occasion. For an anniversary, add a handwritten note; for a birthday, add a pouch or toothbrush to make it a set. Need more ideas? See our sock drawer audit.

What's your husband's catchphrase? We'd love to know which one wins.

Shop Him: The Boss → · Men's socks · Pouches and pencil cases

More from Madons: Gifts for Your Sister · Gifts for Your Brother That He'll Pretend Not to Like · Gifts for Your Best Friend · Gifts for Your Wife · Are socks a good gift? · How to gift wrap socks

Frequently asked questions

What is a good gift for a husband who says he doesn't want anything?

Something small, funny and useful: a pair of socks with a slogan that teases him, like Selective Hearing Specialist or What'd I Do?, plus a practical extra like a zipper pouch.

What can I give my husband for our anniversary?

A pair of funny socks with a personal note, or a set of socks and a pouch, is thoughtful without being over the top.

What size are men's socks at Madons?

Our Blue Q men's crew socks fit UK shoe sizes 6 to 11.

Are socks a good gift for a husband?

Yes, if they say something about him. Read more on why socks make a good gift.

Do you deliver across India?

Yes, with free delivery on every order.